I've always been a fan of Britney, nothing over the top, but I like listening to her music, no matter how overly produced it is.
It all started on Friday when I was offered a ticket from a friend who had a few extra in his stack of six. I was hesitant, but my best friend finally convinced me to go, and bring her along. Saturday I got off work, went on a brief shopping trip for a new shirt to wear to the concert, then my best friend and I began our trek to Nationwide Arena to watch Ms. Spears.
I had zero interest in watching any amount of DJ Pauly D's opening act so we stopped at Boston's across from the arena to have an appetizer and drinks. This may have been the biggest mistake of the night, because we could have gotten a free ticket upgrade. The show didn't sell out so the first 400 people were moved closer to the stage. Nicki Minaj was supposed to be the opener, but she decided not to make the Columbus tour stop, which is probably the biggest reason that the show didn't sell out.I did have to suffer through about 20 minutes through Pauly's set, and what I saw was laughable. He's just a DJ, so it was him spinning random songs. I'm not exactly sure why it was an "opening act." When I heard the opening riff to Justin Bieber's "Baby," my head immediately went numb. I could handle the rap songs they were playing, but Bieber?! Ugh.
We were up in section 205, which is pretty far up into the rafters at the arena, but we weren't complaining because it was free.The video screen had a countdown to Britney's headlining set, and people slowly started to file into their seats. Shrieks could be heard when the "Femme Fatale" sign was being lowered onto the stage, but that was the most action we got while waiting on Brit Brit.
We moved a little closer in our section because there was no one really monitoring the upper bowl. The seats were beyond vacant up there.
The countdown on the video board finally got down to about 20 seconds, and the lights fell. Screams were echoing through the arena, and a video setting up the "Femme Fatale" aspect of the show hit the screen. When the video went black, the audience roared and the stage opened up.
Britney showed up in a white, glittery, barely there number, nothing shocking for Britney anymore, and busted into her lip sync of "Hold it Against Me."
My friends and I were immediately underwhelmed by Britney's performance. Her lazy, half-@$$ed movements reminded me of when I was in middle school cheerleading and my coach would get on me about how my movements weren't sharp.
Up next was "3," the not-so-subtle song about a threesome, which was just as lackluster as the prior song. Whoever thought it was a good idea to record a version to make it sound like she was singing live needs to be punched in the face. I would have much rather heard the lip synced version, simply because she could not hit half the notes in her "live" version.
She had about 4 different costume changes in the show, the first went into an Asian dress/coat that had reminiscence of Sporty Spice going on. Then the next outfit that kicked off "...Baby One More Time," a studded leather jacket with cut off shorts and a rhinestone bra. That was not the most flattering because like it or not, Britney has never been the rail-thin type of girl. She was healthy when she was younger and that's why her stomach was good to mimic. But after two kids she does still have a little bit of a jiggle. At one point she did a pyramid move on top of two of her dancers, and her stomach was hanging down. I'll admit, just about every woman has that, but the rest of us aren't walking around in a bra.The next was for the performance of "Boys," when the show shifted gears to an Egyptian style. It was a simple gold bra and bottoms, with some added accessories like a matching cape.
She then changed into a very short kimono for her performance of "Toxic," and my favorite had to be the black sequin dress for the finale of "Till the World Ends." The jagged drop neck, long sleeves and short skirt were unbelievable.
"Lackluster" was my favorite word of the night. The one move she did have down pretty well was the power walk from one side of the stage to the other and throwing her arms up to cross them. They were both moves that my friends and I were emulating for the rest of the night.
I'm not exactly sure why none of her choreographers or directors won't tell her that she needs to pick it up, but put me in front of Britney Spears herself and I will tell her that my high school cheerleading squad could've outperformed her. If she's going to deprive us of a singer by lip syncing, she could at least give us a dancer.
Britney's dancers were the highlight of the show. One even did an acrobatic routine on her swing during "Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know." I stood up and clapped, but only for him.
So a word to the wise, do not go see Britney Spears' "Femme Fatale" show unless Nicki is there because you actually want to pay for a show.
