Before you take the title of this post the wrong way, it's not what you think. I'm not here to talk about the wonderful things of being a woman, but stating that because I am a girl, I should not be treated as inferior, or different.
A big topic of
conversation between my best friend and I lately, has been feminism, and its
definition. The recent comments by “Big Bang Theory” actress, Kaley Cuoco, on
her “lack of feminism” appalled the both of us. She claims to never have faced
inequality, but does that mean she has never played a sport with a group of
guys, been in an office building, or even just walked down the sidewalk? Before
my mid-20s, I admit, I played the ignorance card. I didn’t read up on feminism and
what it really meant. There was a point in college though, in a sociology
class, that I realized that being a feminist does not mean you are the
extremist that was such a stereotype when I was a kid.
As a woman, you have to
dress and look a certain way, or you are considered gross and/or don’t have
your life together. If you don’t look pleasant at all times, people ask what’s
wrong, or tell you to smile. I had a janitor at my old high school tell me to
smile every single day, because he thought I looked prettier that way (which,
in itself was creepy since he was older than my dad, and I was 14-18 years
old).
I’ve been considered a
prude or a tease for most of my life, because I don’t choose to sleep with
everyone I try and date. But some people would call me a slut for even sleeping
with a man before marriage, for not “saving myself.” One guy told me a few
weeks ago at the bar that I seem like I have a great body, so I need to dress
like it. Just because I don’t wear skin-tight, cleavage-bearing outfits, doesn’t
mean I don’t look great. I enjoy the way I dress on a normal day, because it’s
ME. I’m not trying to be someone else. If that is how you believe you look
fabulous, and makes you feel sexy, more power to you, girl.
But the thing that has
truly gotten under my skin as of late is in my dodgeball league. It has never
been an issue before. I play with guys my age, in their mid-to-late 20s, and I
keep up with them every game as one of the few girls on the court. They know I
can keep up, and don’t even acknowledge that I’m a girl.
Recently, we’ve had a surge
in new players, one being an older man. A few weeks ago after I got someone out,
he looked straight at me and said, “Wow, you sure don’t throw like a girl.” I
don’t like saying certain things while I am fuming mad, so I decided to cool
off and just let it go.
But then it happened again.
This time it wasn’t to me, but I was still just as furious. The man basically
made fun of a guy, because God forbid, a GIRL caught a ball. I had to resist
whipping the ball that was in my hand right at the back of his head. One of my
friends did handle herself in a way I wish I would have. She was on the
opposing team, and nailed him. The icing on the cake was that she screamed, “OH
MY GOD, A GIRL GOT YOU OUT!” Of course after the game was over, I went up to
her and gave her a high-five. But WHY couldn’t I say anything? The guy was FEET
away from me when all of this happened.
I called my mother to vent
my anger, and she basically told me I was being ridiculous for getting so mad.
But I want to fight back now. I regret my decision to stay quiet. So here is a
challenge to any woman that reads this. SPEAK UP. Don’t let anyone make you
feel like you are inferior because you aren’t. If you are a man or a woman, you
are amazing, just the way you are. Stick up for yourself, or others who are
afraid to do it for themselves. It won’t get better, unless you are willing to
change it. So I now promise, to myself and all other women, I WILL say
something when I am faced with this problem again.
