Thursday, January 8, 2015

Being a Girl is Never Bad

Before you take the title of this post the wrong way, it's not what you think. I'm not here to talk about the wonderful things of being a woman, but stating that because I am a girl, I should not be treated as inferior, or different.

A big topic of conversation between my best friend and I lately, has been feminism, and its definition. The recent comments by “Big Bang Theory” actress, Kaley Cuoco, on her “lack of feminism” appalled the both of us. She claims to never have faced inequality, but does that mean she has never played a sport with a group of guys, been in an office building, or even just walked down the sidewalk? Before my mid-20s, I admit, I played the ignorance card. I didn’t read up on feminism and what it really meant. There was a point in college though, in a sociology class, that I realized that being a feminist does not mean you are the extremist that was such a stereotype when I was a kid.
As a woman, you have to dress and look a certain way, or you are considered gross and/or don’t have your life together. If you don’t look pleasant at all times, people ask what’s wrong, or tell you to smile. I had a janitor at my old high school tell me to smile every single day, because he thought I looked prettier that way (which, in itself was creepy since he was older than my dad, and I was 14-18 years old).

I’ve been considered a prude or a tease for most of my life, because I don’t choose to sleep with everyone I try and date. But some people would call me a slut for even sleeping with a man before marriage, for not “saving myself.” One guy told me a few weeks ago at the bar that I seem like I have a great body, so I need to dress like it. Just because I don’t wear skin-tight, cleavage-bearing outfits, doesn’t mean I don’t look great. I enjoy the way I dress on a normal day, because it’s ME. I’m not trying to be someone else. If that is how you believe you look fabulous, and makes you feel sexy, more power to you, girl.

But the thing that has truly gotten under my skin as of late is in my dodgeball league. It has never been an issue before. I play with guys my age, in their mid-to-late 20s, and I keep up with them every game as one of the few girls on the court. They know I can keep up, and don’t even acknowledge that I’m a girl.

Recently, we’ve had a surge in new players, one being an older man. A few weeks ago after I got someone out, he looked straight at me and said, “Wow, you sure don’t throw like a girl.” I don’t like saying certain things while I am fuming mad, so I decided to cool off and just let it go.
But then it happened again. This time it wasn’t to me, but I was still just as furious. The man basically made fun of a guy, because God forbid, a GIRL caught a ball. I had to resist whipping the ball that was in my hand right at the back of his head. One of my friends did handle herself in a way I wish I would have. She was on the opposing team, and nailed him. The icing on the cake was that she screamed, “OH MY GOD, A GIRL GOT YOU OUT!” Of course after the game was over, I went up to her and gave her a high-five. But WHY couldn’t I say anything? The guy was FEET away from me when all of this happened.


I called my mother to vent my anger, and she basically told me I was being ridiculous for getting so mad. But I want to fight back now. I regret my decision to stay quiet. So here is a challenge to any woman that reads this. SPEAK UP. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are inferior because you aren’t. If you are a man or a woman, you are amazing, just the way you are. Stick up for yourself, or others who are afraid to do it for themselves. It won’t get better, unless you are willing to change it. So I now promise, to myself and all other women, I WILL say something when I am faced with this problem again. 

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