One Week Without: Makeup

Anyone who knows me has probably NEVER seen me without makeup. It’s a staple when it comes to me walking out of the house. My hair can look like I just rolled on out of bed, but my makeup will always be on point. It’s part of something that has plagued me since I was in middle school: insecurity. From the time I was about 10-years-old, I’ve had acne. That’s a very young age to have a face full of pimples. Most kids don’t get it until they hit puberty. So I did get some hell from my peers in school, as they walked around with their baby faces, doomed for the same thing to happen to them. My mom would try and help me to handle it by taking me to a dermatologist. He ended up being a quack who wanted me to go on Accutane. When my general physician saw me to get my birth control (which was recommended by the dermatologist), he told me the birth control would help with the break outs.

I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was a teenager. Even then, there were awful skin nightmares, and mornings where I cried while putting on makeup because my face was covered in pimples. No matter how much I tried to layer it on, the bulging, red, disgusting planet that was living on my chin would not go away.

Obviously as I got older, my breakouts have gotten a lot less frequent, and a lot less severe. But, unfortunately, that mentality of not walking out of the house without a little foundation stuck with me. I discovered the wonderful thing that is coconut oil, which not only took all of my makeup off, but made my skin a lot less prone to break out.

Shortly after that, at 25, I met my current boyfriend, who loves it when I exude confidence. He never understood why I wasn’t confident without my makeup on. He insists that I look just as good without makeup, as I do with it.

About two months into dating, I ended up having an accident at a softball game, and got six stitches in my left eyebrow. So that added to my insecurities to my face, and I started filling in my brows.

So here we are, almost 3 years into the relationship, and I only ever let my face be bare in our home.

This past Saturday, I wanted to go out to dinner last minute. So as he just threw on a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants, I did something similar with a hoodie and jeans. He was on the bed, ready to go, while I decided to put on a full face of makeup. I’m not talking just a little concealer and mascara. I’m talking primer, foundation, concealer, contour, shadow, brows, liner and mascara, in that order. That’s a stupid amount of makeup, just to go get freaking cheese fries and margaritas.

My boyfriend travels a lot for work, so he left early the next morning for his next business trip. I work overnights, so I took the opportunity to sleep forever on Sunday. I woke up at 8, decided to make dinner, and when I was done, realized I had no time for looking nice. So I did something I rarely do. I went to work without makeup.

Day 1: Monday

No one really noticed that I was looking sloppy. Working 3^rd shift makes you not really mind when someone else shows up in jeans, a hoodie and some sneakers with their hair thrown up and no makeup. I did feel a little naked without my face on, but since I had at least washed my face, I felt fine.

Day 2: Tuesday

This day was a little rougher. Anyone who works overnights knows the battle it can be to fall and stay asleep. So when I woke up at 1 p.m. and couldn’t fall back to sleep for two hours, I decided to pop a melatonin to help out. Biggest.mistake.ever. Oh I woke up at the right time, but I looked like an extra on The Walking Dead. The bags under my eyes were unbelievably awful, and again, I was hungry, so I decided to forgo makeup and make some delicious burgers. So when I went in to work, I had done my hair, and wore a halfway decent outfit. But then, I was exhausted. So when my coworker looked at me and asked how I was and I said, “sleepy,” he responded, “You look sleepy.” My immediate reaction was, “It’s because I’m not wearing makeup.” He immediately got nervous, and said, “No, no I don’t think that’s it.” Then I started kind of feeling bad for him. I didn’t think, “oh, I didn’t sleep worth a shit yesterday, I may actually just look tired.” Most of the day, I do have moments where I expect to brush my eyelashes and have mascara there, but it’s actually kind of nice to rub my eyes out of stress, and not having to worry about smudging the hell out of my liquid eyeliner.

Day 3: Wednesday

 This is the day that I’ve officially decided to go on the whole week without my precious makeup. I think on the conversations I’ve had with my boyfriend, and how I have really needed to work on my self-confidence lately. So, I dive head first. I took my melatonin as I am going to bed instead of when I wake up midday. I shower after work instead of before it, and realize I’m saving a TON of time by forgoing the makeup. I get a few loads of laundry done before work, and head in. That night I get the first realization that I’m not wearing makeup. One of my coworkers looks at me and says, “Oh! You look cute without makeup!” I can’t say I’ve had anyone ever say that to me, but I didn’t want it to be obvious so I said a quick “thank you” and kept working.

Day 4: Thursday

Today, I’m actually noticing a little bit more change in my skin, but I decide to have some fun and

use a nose strip to get rid of the blackheads that have always plagued me. I am realizing though that my pores are looking a lot smaller, and my skin is looking a lot more “glowy.” I am not realizing so much that I am not wearing makeup. I feel like I just look like, me. I discussed my intentions with my coworker, and he actually looked at me after working three days straight, five feet from me and said he had not noticed I wasn’t wearing makeup. It really made me realize not everyone will notice when I’m not wearing my face. I don’t need to wear it every day.

Day 5: Friday

The final day! I’ve made it!After a particularly emotional night, I have made the wonderful discovery that it's hard as hell to hide your emotions with no makeup. Redness around your eyes after crying takes a minute to go away without concealer.
I cannot get enough of how my skin is looking and feeling. I am realizing now that I am ok with how I look without makeup, and although I have scars, who the hell is going to notice but me? My friends at work tell me they are proud that they know I feel good in my own skin.

Honestly, if you looked at my face, you would have to take a microscope and find the tiny scars and pores that I have been so self-conscious about since I was 10. Some of my coworkers are in the public eye and look glamorous every day. This experiment made me realize I am beautiful, with or without makeup. I use makeup because I enjoy it. It’s fun to express myself.

So don’t think that you NEED to do something to look your best. Do you hair, do your makeup because it makes you feel good. Don’t let anyone let you think otherwise, because anyone who loves you will love you for the skin you’re in.